Tears of joy

The rehabilitation is fucking hard. I workout non-stop! I am regaining my strength, but my head still can’t keep up. But this post is not about the challenges, but the joy and the amazing feeeling of progress.

I was at Northside Festival and Mathias’ cousin’s wedding in the same weekend. We were celebrating the beautiful couple as they confirmed their love to one another. I was also listening to magical Bjørk and The National (and many other great concerts), and I enjoyed some gin and tonics and aperol spritz ice creams (the recipe will be in another post).

During the festival I wandered around talking about how happy I am and how much I love sunshine and life. No doubt it was corny and reinforced by a gin and tonic or two, but somehow there was a sense of urgency to my sentiment.

During The National I was listeting to the amazing band and their incredible energy. I was dancing and jumping to Mr. November:

“I won’t fuck us over, I’m Mr. November
I’m Mr. November, I won’t fuck us over
Won’t fuck us over, I’m Mr. November
I’m Mr. November, I won’t fuck us over”

And to the sound of “Mistaken for Strangers”, which is in fact about the financial world, I was contemplating the fear of becoming lonely that sometimes hits you when you are living with a chronic disease:

“You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
When you pass in the night
Under the silvery silvery Citibank lights”

At some point in the middle of the concert I got tears in my eyes. Not because I was sad, but because I was extremely happy that I was even able to be at the Festival and to enjoy the sunshine and music with my friends.

It got even better when a guy passed by and commented on my cool haircut. I had colored my hair blue that day because we had a “fancy crazy disco shit” theme going on – but seriously that is the second time that someone has confused my chemo hair with an actual haircut!

I hadn’t in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be able to attend a festival so soon  after the treatment. This was obviously the reason why I got so sentimental. It was the realisation that even though it is fucking hard my rehabilitation is actually progressing beyond expectation!


As you can see Mathias and I really love festivals! Northside 2

Northside 1

Enjoying the concerts with amazing disco friends! My skirt is from Baum und Pherdgarten and the top is from Lolly’s Laundry

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